25 Comments

I read all three of these this year. My favorite was the Charlotte Shane memoir because it was real life, and as a women who has delved in ENM dating, there were a lot of interactions I related to with the emotional needs I wasn't aware I would encounter.

I'm probably weird, but All Fours bored me. Then again, I have a lot more freedom than most women along with the good husband. It just didn't seem taboo to me. (I also couldn't justify all that $ going to the hotel room decor project.)

Rejection hit hard and good. I love being led into that darkness. I got bogged down towards the end of the fourth story though.

I learned more about sex and desire from Lisa Taddeo's Three Women. Highly recommend! Again, I'm a sucker for nonfiction.

I'm looking forward to Jamie Hood's memoir Trauma Plot and The Dry Season by Melissa Febos. (Both have Substacks.)

Thanks for sharing!

Expand full comment

Desiree, I also looooooved Three Women. Have you seen the show yet?

Expand full comment

I haven't, but I really want to. (Share your Starz password with me. 😉) Have you seen it? I don't want to be disappointed.

And yes, start a book club (or something else fun), and I'll join.

Expand full comment

I actually haven't either, and I've heard mixed reviews. So I might keep it perfect for myself, which is to say -- existing only in book form.

And I love that you were bored by All Fours!! Ha. But I hear you, once you've walked the ENM gauntlet, this kind of story probably isn't as shocking or out-there. But the response has been fascinating; for a lot of women I think it felt like permission.

Expand full comment

Please, ENM dating means: ___

Expand full comment

Ethical non-monogamy

Expand full comment

Ethical nonmonogamy

Expand full comment

Ever thankful to be in your orbit

Expand full comment

Right now, I’m reading Eric Berkowitz’ “Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire”. It’s a story starting with Mesopotamia and ending I don’t know where because I’m only one quarter of the way through and refuse to jump ahead. So far it’s about how men try to control women’s access and enjoyment of sex. It’s very well written so far, and interesting.

Expand full comment

Rick! That sounds really good!!! Thank you for the share!

Expand full comment

I don't know if these two count, they're not explicitly - no pun intended - about sex:

1) Mrs S. by K Patrick

2) Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan.

Expand full comment

Love the shares, Tolly! I read All Fours and am such a huge fan of Miranda July's overall work.

Expand full comment

Charlotte Shane is such a magnificent writer I bet she is basking in your praise.

Expand full comment

I am basking in your presence being here Susie!! (Big fan!) And I hope Charlotte Shane writes so many more things. I’d love to interview her someday.

Expand full comment

I read 'the feminist' when it was published in n+1 but didn't realise Tony had a collection of short stories out. I am going to go buy Rejection, thanks for the tip!

Might also buy a hard copy of All Fours so my wife can read it too.

Love your blog about your experiences as an ENM mum. Keep it up!

Expand full comment

Hey thank you! All Fours is such a trip; I think she (and you!) will genuinely love it. And yeah, I heard about The Feminist in n+1. The rest of the book is so disturbing, and so so good!

Expand full comment

I LOVE your book reviews and will be checking all 3 of these out! Thank you for a fantastic glimpse into them. Always look forward to reading your words. :)

Expand full comment

Thank you Anna! I truly think you would love ALL of them in different ways. Also. Can we manifest a blockbuster memoir from an ex-trad wife? (Maybe your memoir!)

Expand full comment

I’ll manifest AND work on that memoir. 😉

Expand full comment

Tolly…. We need to start a book clurb !!! 📚💥🪩

Expand full comment

*YA WE DO*

Expand full comment

I’m in the middle of All Fours, loving it. Loving the author reading it to me while I’m on my own middle aged road trip 😅

Expand full comment

Maybe you should stop at a motel? ;)

Expand full comment

LOVED “All Fours”! Best book I read all year. But I love all MJ’s work so…but yes, love the humor. And most of all I loved the redecorating the motel room (though some here didn’t). Just the idea of all this beauty hidden in a nondescript, rundown exterior always gets me going. The juxtaposition is always exciting. I guess it’s a metaphor for a lot of things in life. Anyhow…will have to check out the other two books! Happy (almost) New Year.

Expand full comment

Andrew, same! I feel like you love MJ or you don’t (and like you, I’m forever in the love camp). The motel room aspect was one of my favorites; I could totally see it being translated into a Meow Wolf-like experience.

Expand full comment