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Sarah Ward's avatar

This line gets me: "I started to imagine him imagining me, a once-removed style of sexual fantasy I was very adept at."

This is such an important topic to explore. I know all the ways to be alluring to another, how to pose, how to move, how to appear. And then when it comes to what I desire, it feels like I just want to be the absolute middle of another's turn-on. Like how Esther Perel says: women's eroticism is inherently narcissistic. Thank you for this opportunity to explore this with you here!

Funnily enough, I just bought a book called Come Together, although this one is by Emily Nagoski! I'm going to look up the other one you recommended.

Right there with you about UNTRUE; it is one of my favorite books of all time.

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Lirpa Strike's avatar

"I looove hearing about a partner’s sexual experiences that have nothing to do with me (so much that I’ve annoyed people, “I’m running out of stories Tolly!”). Their history means they’re different from me, and that distinction is super important – sexy because it defamiliarizes them."

I've never heard anyone else say this! Me too. I've also annoyed people with it, lol.

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