4 Comments

"Dating Grant postpartum helped me come back to my body and feel like an autonomous being rather than just a milk machine." Oh wow can I relate to that!!

Thankyou both for the shout out! I'm just honoured to be a part of this incredible series Tolly (and to be included amongst these intelligent and insightful women you are interviewing).

Lelia, as I follow the international news and seek to understand the challenges faced by openly non-monogamous people (particularly women) living in the deeply conservative and religious parts of the U.S, I have to commend you for your bravery! 👏🏼

Expand full comment

Radiating so much love to you, Tanya!

I had a very difficult conversation yesterday with people involved in my kiddo's care. They are actively striving to understand and support our beautiful poly family, but we're the first they've met who are open about it, and they're struggling. I quoted you saying that kids don't care or even recognize it as atypical—we'll have to explain to our kiddo that nonmonogamy isn't the dominant structure.

I feel less alone every time I think of you, your interview, and this series.

Sincerely, thank you. And, as always, thank you to Tolly for starting the series in the first place.

Expand full comment

Wow, fabulous article. I've watched a few documentaries on poly and open marriages. They talked a lot about compersion, which I think would be the hardest part - getting past jealousy. I wondered how long-term sustainable they really are, it would seem that one person might eventually crater, have a problem with it but maybe not. It works for Jada & Will Smith.

While I am married and monogamous.....I'm not convinced many humans are built for monogamy. Our ancient humans ancestors were not monogamous. It is a structure/ construct designed only recently if you look at our long human timeline. I would argue the same with marriage.

Ultimately, we all have physical liberty, and consent is more important now than ever given the war on women. I do not own my husband's body, heart or mind..........nor he mine. We are not each other's property. I want him happy because I love him, if he needed more than me.......I would give him that option. Had you asked me this question 20 years ago I would have answered it very differently than today......but life experiences and reflection have opened my mind to many things.

Expand full comment

This is such a lovely read. As someone who is still new in their polyamorous journey it's always so inspiring to hear of other peoples journeys and the different ways families can end up looking. I think my heat skipped a little beat when Leia said her and Colin both found additional life partners who is now part of their family, so cute

Expand full comment